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A TRUE story
#1
This is a true story, it happened last night, over a cigar and some malt.

A member of the client project team down here in Luanda, commonly referenced to as "The Colonel", as he has an OBE, was in fact a Colonel in the British army (retired) and is now in charge of some logistics for West Africa in general, has graced us with his presence for a week or so.

Now, I need you all to picture, a red cheeked, portly gentleman, exceptionally well spoken, and VERY loud every time he opened his mouth, picture a Colonel from the colonial days in India (which he spent some considerable time in), and you have the man to a T.

Well, we all sat around having a few relaxing drams, I sparked up a cigar and was immediately the focus of his attention. Everybody else is used to me smoking a stick at times, so it was no biggie for them, but the Colonel was on the mooch as he had none with him and would have loved to have taken a few for the trip.

I gave him a cigar, no big deal to me, but he was very pleased with the Cain Daytona, so much so that we sat and talked for a while with everybody listening in to see if I would "do something worthy of a story later". They all thought he would comment on the cigar not being Cuban and I would "educate" him. It never happened.


On this occasion, It wasn't me who gave the guys a tale to tell.


We sat sipping his duty free Glenfiddich and smoking, when he announced that there was a golf course recently opened just outside of Luanda. We all knew about it, but $300 per head, per round, meant we had never given it much thought to go to, apart from the fact that we are so busy and actually here to work.

Well, the Colonel, thought it would be a "topper" of an idea for us to have a golf afternoon during his next visit.

He did actually say "Topper" by the way.

The conversation between the two of us, with everybody listening enough that you could hear a pin drop in between, went like this:

Colonel - David, I think it would be a topper of an idea for us to have a jolly around the new golf course.

Me - Well, it is something that we have thought of, but due to operations, its hard to justify the day off to go there.

Colonel - My dear boy, I'm certain that I could put a few words in to the right ears for us to have a little team building excursion. Do you know what the arrangements are when we grace them with our company?

Me - I think we would book tee times as usual and simply turn up in enough time to pay for the round, the buggies and the club hire.

Colonel - What about a jam boy?

Me - I beg your pardon?

Colonel - Jam boy, a jam boy old chap.

Me - What exactly is a jam boy?

Colonel - we had jam boys in India, oh yes, never played a round of golf without a jam boy, no no no, simply not done David, no no, that would not have done at all. Cant play golf without ones jam boy you know.

Me - O, K, but what is a jam boy.

Colonel - Why, its a young chap smothered in jam of course, what else would a jam boy be? Hahahaha, really, David, you are a one.

Me - A young lad covered in Jam? Really? For what purpose?

Now, at this point, everybody on the roof was listening, not just those in our group, he had every-bodies attention, most of whom were actually sitting forward in their seats at this point.




Colonel - To keep the bally flies away from us of course!!!!




Glenfiddich burns when it comes out of your nose by the way.


LMAO
The 2 most important days of your life are: The day you were born & the day you find out why
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#2
LMAO
If Sonny had EZ-Pass, he'd have survived that hit...
Never apologize mister, it's a sign of weakness. - Capt. Nathan Cutting Brittles
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#3
Holy mother of God Parkster. So when are you going golfing with the Colonel and the Jelly Man. opps, I mean Jam boy.Big Grin
They call me The Mum - Jimmie the Mum
Viva Mumcero - Mahk 12/4/2010 - http://www.stogiechat.com/forum/thread-20737.html
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Weak people seek Revenge, Strong people Forgive, Intelligent people Ignore
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#4
A jam boy, there's a job I wouldn't want!
Fishing is much more than fish. It is the great occasion when we may return to the fine simplicity of our forefathers.
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#5
Haha that was great
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#6
That is halarious!

By the way Parkster you tell stories very well. Did you ever consider writing a novel? I'm serious.
“Evil is sweet in the beginning, but bitter in the end.”
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#7
(10-21-2012, 09:15 AM)Ari Wrote: That is halarious!

By the way Parkster you tell stories very well. Did you ever consider writing a novel? I'm serious.

He told me he once considered being a writer.
They call me The Mum - Jimmie the Mum
Viva Mumcero - Mahk 12/4/2010 - http://www.stogiechat.com/forum/thread-20737.html
Honorary Shield Brother
Weak people seek Revenge, Strong people Forgive, Intelligent people Ignore
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#8
I'll make my fortune and take care of my family first ...... then I can relax and spend some time on writing a book.
The 2 most important days of your life are: The day you were born & the day you find out why
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#9
Sounds like a good plan.

(10-21-2012, 09:40 AM)Parkster Wrote: I'll make my fortune and take care of my family first ...... then I can relax and spend some time on writing a book.
“Evil is sweet in the beginning, but bitter in the end.”
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#10
Thumbsup
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