10-11-2012, 05:19 AM
After shagging Beyonce yesterday, I think there are two things you should know.....
First, her pussy is tight as feck, a real struggle to get in.
Second, the staff at Madame Tussauds are miserable feckers with no sense of humour!
My brother works in the local council office, yesterday an un-named guy called and said "I have just raped a big fat ginger sweaty and acne ridden woman".
My brother told him "You should phone the police to confess".
The man replied "I don't want to confess, I want you to fix the lights in the park".
I've opened a bakery recently and a lady called me up, she wanted a cake with "HAPPY BIRTHDAY I SUCK COCKS" written on it.
I thought it was weird but made it anyway.
Mrs Cox was feckin furious when I delivered it.
So was her son, Isaac.
My wife was preparing a full on fried breakfast this morning when she suddenly had a seizure.
She was foaming at the mouth and shaking then collapsed unconscious.
I didn't know what to do until I remembered, Cracker Barrel do an all day breakfast for $3.99.!
I tried to make a belt out of herbs yesterday, what a waste of Thyme!
I told my wife I was going to make a car out of spaghetti, she said stop being stupid!
She wasn't laughing when I drove pasta!
First, her pussy is tight as feck, a real struggle to get in.
Second, the staff at Madame Tussauds are miserable feckers with no sense of humour!
My brother works in the local council office, yesterday an un-named guy called and said "I have just raped a big fat ginger sweaty and acne ridden woman".
My brother told him "You should phone the police to confess".
The man replied "I don't want to confess, I want you to fix the lights in the park".
I've opened a bakery recently and a lady called me up, she wanted a cake with "HAPPY BIRTHDAY I SUCK COCKS" written on it.
I thought it was weird but made it anyway.
Mrs Cox was feckin furious when I delivered it.
So was her son, Isaac.
My wife was preparing a full on fried breakfast this morning when she suddenly had a seizure.
She was foaming at the mouth and shaking then collapsed unconscious.
I didn't know what to do until I remembered, Cracker Barrel do an all day breakfast for $3.99.!
I tried to make a belt out of herbs yesterday, what a waste of Thyme!
I told my wife I was going to make a car out of spaghetti, she said stop being stupid!
She wasn't laughing when I drove pasta!
The 2 most important days of your life are: The day you were born & the day you find out why
