10-16-2010, 04:10 PM
(This post was last modified: 10-16-2010, 04:14 PM by CKlineline.)
A couple of days ago I was in my smoking room enjoying a stick just sitting back relaxing and watching a huge spider just outside the window enjoying a meal of a grasshopper. Just then something flew into the web and the spider went into action to secure the new prey.
I stood up from my chair to get a closer look at the critter in action.
After the carnage was over I backed back up to my chair and sat down. Turns out in the 30 seconds I was out of the chair one of the two cats that shares my smoking room with me had decided the chair was now available and had curled up in it.
Well I weigh 300 lb+ and my immediate reaction was to try to jump back up out of the seat before I killed the poor 4 lb cat.
This chair is not a big sturdy chair but a folding lawn chair that I am making due with until I can find something better at a yard sale somewhere. So rather than leaping back to my feet and saving the cats life I ended up tipping the chair backwards into an irreversible rear topple.
In the process of falling backwards (and flailing around like an idiot trying to grab something) I managed to kick the bottom of the wooden table atop which sits my ashtray, cutter, catalogs, lighter, etc. This is a small wood top table with 4 wire legs connected at the feet by a wire cross. The impact of my kicking it threw it into the air and arcing right over on top of me. The ashtray (which was full) flew over my head and landed behind me.
After everything came to rest I found myself on my back with my head in a pile of ashes and butts still sitting perfectly in the chair but now my feet are tangled in the wire legs of the table.
It was then I realized I still had my lit stogie in between my first two fingers and the ashes had not even fallen off. (Its good to know that in an emergency the subconscious mind kicks in and takes care of the important things).
Well I laid there for a few seconds assessing the situation and thought I should try to get up. I then found that my legs were sufficiently tangled as to not allow enough movement to free myself from my current position and I thought I would have to just yell for help.
Then I heard the door open and thought that my wife must have heard the commotion and was coming to see what happened. It wasn't my wife but my son. He was just coming down to tell me about his day at football practice.
As he rounded the corner to find me laying on the floor still seated in the chair with my legs pretzeled in the table legs he looked at me and rather than asking "what happened?" or "do you need some help?" he just says "Hey! dad" as if he is going to start some sort of casual conversation with his father the weirdo who likes to smoke his cigars while lying on the floor, seated in a lawn chair with a table twisted around his feet.
Luckily he 6'-4" and 200 lb (just 14 yrs old) and strong enough to help his 300 lb dad off the floor so that I don't have to put down the cigar.
Ya know! It didn't seem that funny at the time since I bent the table and the chair, nearly killed the cat and broke my ashtray but looking back always tends to show you a lighter side of things.
I stood up from my chair to get a closer look at the critter in action.
After the carnage was over I backed back up to my chair and sat down. Turns out in the 30 seconds I was out of the chair one of the two cats that shares my smoking room with me had decided the chair was now available and had curled up in it.
Well I weigh 300 lb+ and my immediate reaction was to try to jump back up out of the seat before I killed the poor 4 lb cat.
This chair is not a big sturdy chair but a folding lawn chair that I am making due with until I can find something better at a yard sale somewhere. So rather than leaping back to my feet and saving the cats life I ended up tipping the chair backwards into an irreversible rear topple.
In the process of falling backwards (and flailing around like an idiot trying to grab something) I managed to kick the bottom of the wooden table atop which sits my ashtray, cutter, catalogs, lighter, etc. This is a small wood top table with 4 wire legs connected at the feet by a wire cross. The impact of my kicking it threw it into the air and arcing right over on top of me. The ashtray (which was full) flew over my head and landed behind me.
After everything came to rest I found myself on my back with my head in a pile of ashes and butts still sitting perfectly in the chair but now my feet are tangled in the wire legs of the table.
It was then I realized I still had my lit stogie in between my first two fingers and the ashes had not even fallen off. (Its good to know that in an emergency the subconscious mind kicks in and takes care of the important things).
Well I laid there for a few seconds assessing the situation and thought I should try to get up. I then found that my legs were sufficiently tangled as to not allow enough movement to free myself from my current position and I thought I would have to just yell for help.
Then I heard the door open and thought that my wife must have heard the commotion and was coming to see what happened. It wasn't my wife but my son. He was just coming down to tell me about his day at football practice.
As he rounded the corner to find me laying on the floor still seated in the chair with my legs pretzeled in the table legs he looked at me and rather than asking "what happened?" or "do you need some help?" he just says "Hey! dad" as if he is going to start some sort of casual conversation with his father the weirdo who likes to smoke his cigars while lying on the floor, seated in a lawn chair with a table twisted around his feet.
Luckily he 6'-4" and 200 lb (just 14 yrs old) and strong enough to help his 300 lb dad off the floor so that I don't have to put down the cigar.
Ya know! It didn't seem that funny at the time since I bent the table and the chair, nearly killed the cat and broke my ashtray but looking back always tends to show you a lighter side of things.
Cole
![[Image: 1bc4f12b9dc4c6d90564fc11a3f6a43a.gif]](http://picasion.com/pic29/1bc4f12b9dc4c6d90564fc11a3f6a43a.gif)
