Bullsh*t Reviews

[-PO-]

Mushrooms, I know what they were smoking or should I say eating!!!! 

[Mark]

Hmm I can pick out most of these flavors.....to a point.

[user=19]Mark[/user] wrote:

Jalapeno, Mushrooms, Vanilla Bean, Cloves, Plum, Mint, Sumatran Coffee and Cardamon. 

 

Yeah and I can fly and have xray vision. :?

[Rob The Long Island Cowboy]

Yeah and I can fly and have xray vision. :?

 

I knew it!

[Rob The Long Island Cowboy]

All reviews should be in one of two categories. 

a.  I think it sucks.  It is better served shoved up your arch-enemies ass than hanging smoking from your lips.

b.  I dug it.  Almost as good as a full cupped breast.

 

Tastes like oregano with hints of leather?  WTF?  You aren't impressing anyone.  Go back to j/o'ing to back issues of CA. 

[Djaric]

Hmm I can pick out most of these flavors.....to a point.

[user=19]Mark[/user] wrote:

Jalapeno, Mushrooms, Vanilla Bean, Cloves, Plum, Mint, Sumatran Coffee and Cardamon. 

 

Yeah and I can fly and have xray vision. :?

So THATS how you get all those cigars! 

[Tonto]

I can taste...

a.) Good cigar......smoke it

b.) Bad cigar........toss it

[Beerlord]

Hmm I can pick out most of these flavors.....to a point.

[user=19]Mark[/user] wrote:

Jalapeno, Mushrooms, Vanilla Bean, Cloves, Plum, Mint, Sumatran Coffee and Cardamon. 

 

Yeah and I can fly and have xray vision. :?

you rock.

[Mark]

Hmm I can pick out most of these flavors.....to a point.

[user=19]Mark[/user] wrote:

Jalapeno, Mushrooms, Vanilla Bean, Cloves, Plum, Mint, Sumatran Coffee and Cardamon. 

 

Yeah and I can fly and have xray vision. :?

you rock.

[Bikeman]

And he disses the GOF while he is at it. I guess that my tastes just aren't developed enough yet, I LOVED my GOF by Carlito, and cannot wait to smoke the other one I have resting in my Humi.

[moki]

[user=19]Mark[/user] wrote:

At the LI Herf we were talking about all of those reviews that you read and then think to yourself "What the F*CK where they smoking before they lit that cigar up?" 

The formal review for the Casa Fuente came up and I said I would post it, well here it is:

Casa Fuente Robusto (5 ¼" x 50)

Fuente joined a partnership with Robbie Levin (of Holts fame) to open up a retail store in The Forum Shops at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas, called "Casa Fuente." The store's grand opening is set for early June, 2005, and will feature a flagship cigar available only there (no Internet/phone orders): the Casa Fuente cigar.

I'm not sure what sizes the Casa Fuente cigars will be available in; but I do know that the filler started off as an Opus blend, but was tweaked and massaged from the traditional Opus blend. The wrapper is a gorgeous Cameroon wrapper grown from the original Cameroon seeds planted by Rick Meerapfel, and the cigar itself is perfectly constructed, with no soft spots or blemishes on the wrapper. The Casa Fuente cigar is, as you would expect, adorned with a gorgeous ornate band, and it has an orange ribbon around the foot of the cigar.

A sniff of the foot reveals hints of the typical spiced raison/plum scent of an Opus, but with mustier hints of vanilla bean and ginseng root. Sparking it up ends all comparisons to the Opus: this is a different animal altogether.

It's said that a cigar's wrapper can contribute as much as 60% of a cigar's taste. I'm not sure how much of that is accurate, but the Cameroon wrapper on this cigar combined with the modified filler blend definitely results in an entirely new breed of cigar, quite different from an Opus X cigar.

Where the Opus has a strong Jalapeño spice to it, the Casa Fuente cigar has a much earthier black pepper spice, with a minty/leathery aftertaste that's reminiscent of Don Carlos cigars. I'm no fan of the Don Carlos cigars, and I was rather disappointed by both blends of the God of Fire cigars (more so the Don Carlos blend), but the Casa Fuente cigar is really a wonderful experience.

Initial draws from the cigar bring musty, leathery flavors with hints of mushrooms and a tingly clove/cardamon aftertaste. For people who find the Opus to be too overpowering, the Casa Fuente will be a welcome surprise. It's by no means a mild cigar; it has a strong, robust, earthy profile akin to a Cuban Bolivar or Ramon Allones, but it's not the "oh my god, hang on for dear life" fresh Opus kind of strong.

Those who have had burn issues with fresh Opus will likewise be glad to know that the Cameroon wrapper on the Casa Fuente cigar no doubt contributes to its razor-sharp burn, even when fresh.

This is remarkably complex cigar that picks up power as it smokes down, morphing the predominant tastes slightly to offer up hints of chocolate and Sumatran coffee, while maintaining the musty/leathery flavors and clove/cardamon spice. The sweetness is subtle, akin to the understated sweetness of a graham cracker, and the finish offered up surprising hints of citrus flavors thrown into the mix.

All in all, strap your tastes buds down for a wild ride; this is a damn fine cigar. Now the bad news.

Because these cigars are sold only at the very expensive Forums shops at Caesar's palace in Las Vegas, the cigars will no doubt be very expensive, likely $30 a stick or more. Less then the typical (and ridiculous) Strip price of $60 for an Opus, but still certainly a special occasion cigar.

 

What the F*CK??????  Jalapeno, Mushrooms, Vanilla Bean, Cloves, Plum, Mint, Sumatran Coffee and Cardamon?????  Give me a freaking break. :?

Since that's my review, I'll respond. It's very possible to discern these flavors from cigars, wine, and other consumable items. What you call "bullsh*t" others do experience, and many people make their living doing.

And there is science behind it:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/2880471.stm

Still, my palate is not nearly as refined as the palate of many others I know; it takes work to refine it. One thing to keep in mind is that you're not necessarily meant to take the various tastes noted literally.

Taste is extremely linked to memory; a taste may evoke memories of a similar taste in something else that you've had before. It's similar to how an impressionistic painter hints at the true nature of what they are depicting, describing it in a generalized way to impart the idea/form.

Sure, my review is over the top... but it does try to convey an experience as best I could manage it. If you want to try it yourself some time, find a peaceful moment, and really focus on what you're tasting as you enjoy your cigar or wine. Let it curl around your tongue, and focus on the tastes, you might be surprised.

Taste is extremely subjective, and not everyone will taste things the same way, or even have the same range of tastes available to them. It's also work to focus on what you're tasting, and attempt to translate that into words through which others can try to get an understanding of the experience you had.

If you want to boil it down to "good/bad" you certainly can, and it's a valid way to approach any luxury food or spirit. But dismissing the idea of being able to pick up subtle flavors in said items I think is not correct.

Sumatran coffee, for instance, really does have a distinctive taste that you can become quite familiar with if you are a lover of the bean. Another example: while black pepper and jalapeno peppers are both spicy, they have very different tastes, which is why chefs go to the lengths they do to pick the appropriate spice to complement a particular dish.

The same can be said for cigars, wines, coffee, beers, scotches, and even things like chocolates. But if all cigars are to you is the gastronomic equivalent of slamming down a Big Mac and Coke, yeah, it'll all seem somewhat ridiculous to you.

Anyway, don't worry, I won't post any more "bullsh*t" here, so it's all good.