11-12-2008, 02:43 PM
The newlyweds were married for just two weeks when the husband said to the wife, "Honey, I'm going to Hank's Tavern to have a beer. I'll be right back".
"Where are you going. Coochy Coo?", asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face." he answered. "I'm going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my sweet love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 countries: Germany, Holland, Belgium, Japan, etc...
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... But at the bar. . . You know. . . they have frozen glasses. . ."
He didn't get to finish the sentence because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass Puppy Face?" She took a huge frosty mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale said, "Yes Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious....I wont be long. I'll be right back. I promise. O.K.?"
"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, stuffed mushrooms, little quiches....
"But, my Sweet Honey. . . at the bar... you know. . . there's swearing and dirty words and all that...."
"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?"
"LISTEN UP, CHICKEN SHIT!!! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND SHUT THE HELL UP. DRINK YOUR DAMNED BEER IN YOU FRICKIN' FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOU'RE MARRIED NOW AND YOUR ASS ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER. GOT IT, JACKASS?"
And they lived happily ever after. Married life.............Makes my eyes tear up.
"Where are you going. Coochy Coo?", asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face." he answered. "I'm going to have a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my sweet love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 countries: Germany, Holland, Belgium, Japan, etc...
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... But at the bar. . . You know. . . they have frozen glasses. . ."
He didn't get to finish the sentence because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass Puppy Face?" She took a huge frosty mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale said, "Yes Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious....I wont be long. I'll be right back. I promise. O.K.?"
"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, stuffed mushrooms, little quiches....
"But, my Sweet Honey. . . at the bar... you know. . . there's swearing and dirty words and all that...."
"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?"
"LISTEN UP, CHICKEN SHIT!!! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND SHUT THE HELL UP. DRINK YOUR DAMNED BEER IN YOU FRICKIN' FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOU'RE MARRIED NOW AND YOUR ASS ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER. GOT IT, JACKASS?"
And they lived happily ever after. Married life.............Makes my eyes tear up.
Freakin' ray of sunshine, ain't I.
