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Chuck Norris isms'
#1
The term "heartburn" was invented when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a man in the chest and his heart caught fire.


Pictures of Chuck Norris are worth two thousand words.


Death once had a near - Chuck Norris experience.



Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because he never fu__ks up.


Chuck Norris once broke a mirror on a black cat on Friday the 13th. He won the lottery later that day.


Chuck Norris is the only man on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.


Chuck Norris's real name is Switchblade Killingsworth. He changed it to Chuck Norris because it sounds tougher.


Somewhere right now Chuck Norris is plowing a woman he doesn't love.



Chuck Norris once squeezed an M&M so hard it turned into a Skittle.



Chuck Norris ate a whole box of Alphabits cereal and shat out the entire works of Edgar Allan Poe.


Mr. T once defeated Chuck Norris in a game of tic- tac -toe. In retaliation,Chuck Norris invented racism.   Confusedhock:


Chuck Norris is like corn.No matter how much sh!t he is in he still comes out in one piece.



The Black Eyed peas were simply the Black Peas until they crossed Chuck Norris.



When Chuck Norris had surgery,the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.









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#2
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.


There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.


 

LOL!
~ 2010- The year I was "showered" with gifts from my SC Brothers.


Gratitude is when memories are stored in the heart, and not in the mind. Our hearts will not forget.
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#3
When Chuck Norris takes a shower, he doesn't get wet.  Water gets Chuck Norris.
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#4
[rob]
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#5
MK 199 Wrote:[rob]

It's Chuck Norris!!!  [wow][wow][wow][wow]   RUN for your lives!!!!



http://www.sugarjar.com/media/44610/
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#6
chuck's got nothing on the illest mofo in a cardigan sweater

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1B_n9YaAMmg
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#7
Seriously, how did this guy lose?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDUQW8LUMs8
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#8
Bluesman455 Wrote:
MK 199 Wrote:[rob]
It's Chuck Norris!!!  [wow][wow][wow][wow]   RUN for your lives!!!!
[lol] [lol] [lol]
Gold Club Member: ARC     ....   "not even close" - Jonas Grumby
[Image: schat2_zps32fzqtp2.jpg]
Order of the Javelin       If Sonny had EZ-Pass, he'd have survived that hit...

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#9
[lol][lol][lol][lol][lol]

Chuck Norris went on vacation to the Virgin Islands....when he left they were just The Islands.
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#10
Chuck Norris's dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris don't take sh!t from anyone.


If you ever meet a woman with crooked teeth,you've met a woman who has given Chuck Norris a blowjob.



Chuck Norris when clean shaven ,radiates the heat of 3 suns.



The only reason WWll occured was because Chuck Norris was taking a nap.
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