05-01-2006, 04:46 AM
Stay Politically Correct when describing a woman.
*** She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
*** She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.
*** She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
*** She is not HALF NAKED - She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED.
*** She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.
*** She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
*** She does not want to be MARRIED - She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.
*** She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
*** She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
*** She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
*** She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
*** She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
*** She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.
*** She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.
*** She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.
*** She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
*** She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
*** She does not GET YOU EXCITED - She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.
*** She is not KINKY - She is a NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION.
*** She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.
*** She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT.
*** She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
*** She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
*** She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.
*** She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.
*** She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
*** She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
*** She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is GRAVITY RESISTANT.
*** She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE
*** She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
*** She is not LOOSE - She is MORALLY IMPAIRED.
*** She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
*** She does not have THIN LIPS - She is COLLAGEN DEPENDENT.
*** She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
*** She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.
*** She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
*** She is not HALF NAKED - She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED.
*** She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.
*** She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
*** She does not want to be MARRIED - She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.
*** She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
*** She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
*** She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
*** She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
*** She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
*** She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.
*** She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.
*** She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.
*** She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
*** She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
*** She does not GET YOU EXCITED - She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.
*** She is not KINKY - She is a NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION.
*** She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.
*** She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT.
*** She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
*** She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
*** She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.
*** She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.
*** She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
*** She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
*** She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is GRAVITY RESISTANT.
*** She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE
*** She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
*** She is not LOOSE - She is MORALLY IMPAIRED.
*** She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
*** She does not have THIN LIPS - She is COLLAGEN DEPENDENT.
Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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