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The evening out (and the cat).
#1
We're dressed, and ready to go out for the night. We turn on a night light, turn the answering machine on, cover our pet parakeet, and put the cat out in the backyard. We then phone the local cab company and request a taxi. 

The taxi arrives, and we open the front door to leave the house. As we walk out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard scoots back into the house. We don't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.

   My wife goes on out to the taxi, while I go back inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Meanwhile, in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night, so she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon. 'He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.' 

A few minutes later, I get into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long,' I say, as we drive away. Then the driver hears me tell my wife, 'She was hiding under the bed, so I had to poke her backside with a coat hanger to get her to come out. She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me, but it worked! I hauled her bodily downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!' .........At hearing this the cab driver hits a parked car.
“Evil is sweet in the beginning, but bitter in the end.”
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#2
Clean and funny..
They call me The Mum - Jimmie the Mum
Viva Mumcero - Mahk 12/4/2010 - http://www.stogiechat.com/forum/thread-20737.html
Honorary Shield Brother
Weak people seek Revenge, Strong people Forgive, Intelligent people Ignore
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#3
awesome story
IF YOU AIN'T FIRST, YOU'RE LAST!!!!!!!
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#4
Sounds like a recent episode of raising hope.

great joke, thanks.
Jonathan Charles Axisa, my beloved son, 11/7/1979 - 7/8/2010

Ғµ(Ķ Cancer
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#5
Hilarious!!
Fishing is much more than fish. It is the great occasion when we may return to the fine simplicity of our forefathers.
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#6
Funny
"I do not save cigars for occasions that may not happen. Cigars make the occasion special, not the other way around."

Ryan
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#7
Nice
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#8
LMAO
If Sonny had EZ-Pass, he'd have survived that hit...
Never apologize mister, it's a sign of weakness. - Capt. Nathan Cutting Brittles
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