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Quick-fire 3 minute routine
#11
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Jonathan Charles Axisa, my beloved son, 11/7/1979 - 7/8/2010

Ғµ(Ķ Cancer
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#12
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.


To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Jonathan Charles Axisa, my beloved son, 11/7/1979 - 7/8/2010

Ғµ(Ķ Cancer
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#13
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.


We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

I always thought it odd when my mom called me a son of a bi+ch

Why do they start the evening news with "Good evening" when they proceed to ruin it with the stories?

God is watching... Be entertaining.


A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..


and possibly my new signature
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Jonathan Charles Axisa, my beloved son, 11/7/1979 - 7/8/2010

Ғµ(Ķ Cancer
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#14
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?


I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian



Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?


You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.


Virginity is like a soap bubble, one prick and it is gone.


Nostalgia isn't what it used to be
Jonathan Charles Axisa, my beloved son, 11/7/1979 - 7/8/2010

Ғµ(Ķ Cancer
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#15
All good ones.

I think I may have found my new signature in there Skip. The top of the food chain, vegetarian line is great!
Fishing is much more than fish. It is the great occasion when we may return to the fine simplicity of our forefathers.
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#16
Parkster walks into a Psychiatrist's Office wearing a kilt made of plastic wrap.

The Doc looked at him and said "I can see yer nuts!"







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#17
NowthatsfunnyKilt
Jonathan Charles Axisa, my beloved son, 11/7/1979 - 7/8/2010

Ғµ(Ķ Cancer
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#18
LMAO
If Sonny had EZ-Pass, he'd have survived that hit...
Never apologize mister, it's a sign of weakness. - Capt. Nathan Cutting Brittles
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