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Quick-fire 3 minute routine
#1
After shagging Beyonce yesterday, I think there are two things you should know.....

First, her pussy is tight as feck, a real struggle to get in.

Second, the staff at Madame Tussauds are miserable feckers with no sense of humour!



My brother works in the local council office, yesterday an un-named guy called and said "I have just raped a big fat ginger sweaty and acne ridden woman".

My brother told him "You should phone the police to confess".

The man replied "I don't want to confess, I want you to fix the lights in the park".



I've opened a bakery recently and a lady called me up, she wanted a cake with "HAPPY BIRTHDAY I SUCK COCKS" written on it.

I thought it was weird but made it anyway.

Mrs Cox was feckin furious when I delivered it.

So was her son, Isaac.



My wife was preparing a full on fried breakfast this morning when she suddenly had a seizure.

She was foaming at the mouth and shaking then collapsed unconscious.

I didn't know what to do until I remembered, Cracker Barrel do an all day breakfast for $3.99.!



I tried to make a belt out of herbs yesterday, what a waste of Thyme!



I told my wife I was going to make a car out of spaghetti, she said stop being stupid!

She wasn't laughing when I drove pasta!

Kilt
The 2 most important days of your life are: The day you were born & the day you find out why
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#2
O Geez, you better come home soon..
They call me The Mum - Jimmie the Mum
Viva Mumcero - Mahk 12/4/2010 - http://www.stogiechat.com/forum/thread-20737.html
Honorary Shield Brother
Weak people seek Revenge, Strong people Forgive, Intelligent people Ignore
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#3
you're welcome
The 2 most important days of your life are: The day you were born & the day you find out why
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#4
Ari slaps Parkster in the forehead, and says in a deep southern American accent...

"Yer Heaaaaaled"

Smile
“Evil is sweet in the beginning, but bitter in the end.”
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#5
(10-11-2012, 07:03 AM)Ari Wrote: Ari slaps Parkster in the forehead, and says in a deep southern American accent...

"Yer Heaaaaaled"

Smile

Parkster then pisses himself laughing as Ari pulls his hand off of Parksters forehead and screams ...... "my hand!!!!!! my hand!!!!! aaaaaaaargh"

Devilish
The 2 most important days of your life are: The day you were born & the day you find out why
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#6
Haha
"I do not save cigars for occasions that may not happen. Cigars make the occasion special, not the other way around."

Ryan
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#7
LOL
--Mike

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#8
Those are great.
Fishing is much more than fish. It is the great occasion when we may return to the fine simplicity of our forefathers.
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#9
Thumbsup
Jonathan Charles Axisa, my beloved son, 11/7/1979 - 7/8/2010

Ғµ(Ķ Cancer
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#10
My psychiatrist has just diagnosed me with being a compulsive liar.

Then she sucked my cock.
The 2 most important days of your life are: The day you were born & the day you find out why
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