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Life Skills
#1
•I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying
let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.

•I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way
much faster now.

•You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they
are holding a gun, she's probably angry.

•Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now
they drink like their fathers.

•You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like
someone? That's common sense leaving your body.

•I don't like making plans for the day because then the word
"premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.

•I didn't make it to the gym again today. That makes five years in a row.

•I decided to change calling the bathroom the 'John' and renamed it the
'Jim'. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

•Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers:
if you find one, what's your plan?
They call me The Mum - Jimmie the Mum
Viva Mumcero - Mahk 12/4/2010 - http://www.stogiechat.com/forum/thread-20737.html
Honorary Shield Brother
Weak people seek Revenge, Strong people Forgive, Intelligent people Ignore
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#2
LMAO
If Sonny had EZ-Pass, he'd have survived that hit...
Never apologize mister, it's a sign of weakness. - Capt. Nathan Cutting Brittles
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#3
Nice Mum....I can relate to a few !!!
When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
Steven Wright
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