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What has always amazed me, when someone IN NEED comes to YOU and needs YOUR help, then forgets you. If I am indebted to someone for something that needs to be paid back, it's stuck in my craw until it's repaid. How the HELL does that happen?
Please don't tell me you FORGOT me when you needed my help.
As a rule, people need others for help thru there life for one reason or another. Money, time or just a favor. Kindness is a virtue people are born with just as the flipside and the mean AHOLES of the world, it's in your soul and heart. As many of you know I will stand up for the underdog and always question why someone did wrong to understand and possibly forgive and been called out for it. I will and have given my shirt and my last dollar to go out of my way to help someone, even if I don't know them.
I have cosigned 3 cars for my employees in the past if I thought strong enough of them and have never been burned. I have ALWAYS loaned money with the known policy, let me know when you can pay it back and do it! If they don't, then they can never come to me again for help.
So Why is it that Family will take advantage of family? Insert my older brother. There have been so many times I bailed him out and he just seems to think I should GIVE him whatever he needs. Over the last 20 years he is into me for over $8000 I didn't have to give him or take away from my family and he made 3 times what I did. Enough became enough and I haven't seen or talked to him in 5 years.
My definition of a true friend, when you call me for help, I drop what I'm doing and I'm there for you.
Your friends will know you better in the first minutes you meet, than your acquaintances will know you in a hundred years.
Who burned you?
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We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered.
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Phew ...... where do I start?
I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt once I have decided that they can be someone I trust and like ........ I dont make friends very easily, I get along with people, and go out of my way at times to ensure I get along with people, but as a rule, I dont take people in to my friendship very easily and it is because of being burned a long time ago. Thats a story I wont go in to here for various reasons, but, as I said, I give people the benefit of the doubt as its a small world, and its easy to base a decision on peoples bad points, that being the case, I would never make a single friend, as EVERYBODY has bad points, so with that in mind I tend to try and focus on peoples good points and their positive attributes ..... its far easier.
Having said that, last year saw my patience wear out and my list of friends got shorter by 1.
Its been a long time since I have lost my temper completely, and as much as I am a little ashamed at how I handled the situation, its over now and no come back, so the split second poor decision was worth it.
It was money ..... and a lot of avoidance as a way of hoping I would forget, which I did partially ....... until I was asked for more ....... when I refused, on the grounds that I was still owed from the last time and have not seen him since ....... lets just say he tried to make it look like I was the bad guy, when I told him to take a hike, he called me out ....... a split second later I am down a grand, he has (what turned out to be) 4 stitches in his lip, 2 teeth missing and a concussion from being knocked out .......... and as a result I will never lend any money ever again.
For the record ........ I still feel bad about the whole deal.
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The 2 most important days of your life are: The day you were born & the day you find out why
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03-05-2012, 08:15 AM
(This post was last modified: 03-05-2012, 08:18 AM by Skipper the cigar aFISHinodo.)
Terry, this is a tough one. Some memories are better left buried. And the burning doesn't need to be financial either. I am amazed how some people can forget any act of good you did towards them and "burn" you.
I'm sorry about your brother. Family seems to think it's a socialistic relationship more so than friends.
I do hope that one day your brother will awaken and tell you he loves you and is sorry.
Dave, we all have our breaking points, yours was justified. Too bad he just didn't have a stronger head and didn't sustain so much damage.
Jonathan Charles Axisa, my beloved son, 11/7/1979 - 7/8/2010
Ғµ(Ķ Cancer
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03-05-2012, 08:28 AM
(This post was last modified: 03-05-2012, 11:01 PM by Tonto.)
I'm coming up on the 1 year anniversary date of when I was not just burned...not just me, but my whole family was burned & stabbed in the back by.....
If Sonny had EZ-Pass, he'd have survived that hit...
Never apologize mister, it's a sign of weakness. - Capt. Nathan Cutting Brittles
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03-05-2012, 10:18 AM
(This post was last modified: 03-05-2012, 10:19 AM by Skipper the cigar aFISHinodo.)
Tonto, do you mean to say you were ROBBED!
Jonathan Charles Axisa, my beloved son, 11/7/1979 - 7/8/2010
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John, I'm more surprised that 51 have view the thread and 4 have posted and I mentioned it's not always money. Being taken advantage of by someone you know is nothing new.
Mine was pretty much like Dave's, money and he always asks for more. He borrowed a $200 foot pedal and destroyed it, gives it back and says sorry. Borrowed my 2 wheeler, left it in his truck and got stolen, sorry. On and on and on. He calls and I don't answer, he emails and I delete. I just can't allow someone in my life that's bad for me and mine and it hurts, bro or not.
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We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered.
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03-05-2012, 12:53 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-05-2012, 12:55 PM by Domniomaestro.)
I read this earlier, and decided to hold off posting anything, until I figured out a way to say it, that is socially acceptable.
Of course I've been burnt in the past. I cannot think of a single person I have ever known, that hasn't been hurt by someone, somewhere. Because of the people that hurt me in the past, I have put a series of 'checks and balances' into my life that are instant, and absolute. To type them out here would be difficult, just because of the complexity of the very subject matter.
I think I'm a pretty good just of peoples character. I go with my gut, 99.8% of the time. I'll help those that I call friend as far as I can without endangering my family. I have left people into my life, and been wrong about them. Once I see/feel/hear/be shown/etc that I (or my family) am being taken advantage of, those people are escorted to the door and ejected from my/our lives. To be fair here, thats only happened twice. Both knew why I removed them from my/our circle of friends. Only one ever tried to reconnect, and was told (bluntly) how not to communicate with us again.
My life is to short to spend it tolerating people who 'injure' it. I hope that you can understand I am not using the literal meaning of that. Albeit, if they injure me, I guarantee they're going to be injured back.
Lastly, there's an old scottish proverb I model my life around. "Shame me once, shame on you. Shame me twice, shame on me." Because I am smart, I rarely get shamed the first time. Because of being burnt in the past....there is no 'twice', ever.
...moving along...nothing left to see here.
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I rather keep my stuff personal, that's why they call me the Mum.
Most of the views are probably the mods as we always need to make sure members are following the rules etc.
Terry, please don't get too concerned when so many open this thread and view it. In threads like this where there is a lot to read I just don't have time to read in when I am on the go on my smartphone. I open out of curiosity then remember to come back to it later when I am on the computer. And I know a lot of SC people do the same. They have smart phones and with a smartphone one tends to troll more and not often respond because of lack of good keyboard.
Dooley's kid still owes me a quarter!
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