Best Diet of the Year

[Skipper the cigar aFISHinodo]

awesome!  you've got to love cutting up in public with hopeless straights. 

when we first moved into this as close to mayberry neighborhood as you can get on long island the neighbors all minded eachother's business.  like wisteria lane only worse.  so they keep asking my wife what's wrong with her husband.  why i don't talk to anyone and bla bla bla.  anyways at the block party i'm playing a little pickup basketball game with the neighborhood kids and mind in front of my house.  a bunch of the wives came over to comment how wonderful i was with kids.  i told her that prison had changed me.  game over and no one bothers me to talk anymore.

second best one was my neighbor next door.  i mow her lawn and clean the snow for her.  naturally all the neighborhood women start gossiping.  my wife explains that she suspects i may be having an affair.  i grab my towel, shampoo and a pair of gym shorts and head next door.  i hop in the shower there and wait until the neighborhood lady walker's club thing passes down my block.  i put on the gym shorts.  cover them with the towel.  hair is soaking wet.  grab the shampoo bottle and walk back across my lawn to my front door.  nothing funnier than eight fifty year old women stopping to stare.  i waved.  bid them good evening and closed the front door.  they stood there or at least fifteen minutes cackling like hens.  while they still don't talk to me several of them have asked my wife if i'll help fix a lock, plumbing, garage door and so on.

i can go on.  got to love the suburbs.  so many targets.   

First class Rob, first class.

[Skipper the cigar aFISHinodo]

O yea, I love when people call the house and ask for me or Donna. I say"no, he's not home, I'm the next door neighbor popping his wife, what I can I do for you? She's in the bathroom washing up before her husband comes home.

When they call for Donna, I usually say, no, she left me  and the kids for  so and so.

One time I thought it was someone calling for a donation but it was actually one of her friends. I went on how she left me etc then 20 minutes later another friend calls me to ask what was going on.

That was a good laugh  

Jimbo, there a comedian that does this sort of stoff. Tom Mabe. He sits by the phone waiting for these solicitors to call... He is a hoot.

Some of his most memorable...

A rug cleaning company called and he said: "oh man, you have no idea how oppertune this is, do you guys remove blood? A lot of blood?" & how about blood on the walls to?

Another time he pretended to be a radio show host working on his next days skit and commented he needed a wmoan as a co-host and theperson who called had a "lovely voice" and he continuously referred to him as a her. Yep, it was a guy.

Check him out.

[Jimmie the Mum]

will do Skip. Heading to the city soon to see Jimmy Buffet but first a stop at my favorite place (Kuma) with Donna, Silver Bullet and his wife and another couple.