Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
A joke for Ashman
#1
The Next time you think your hotel bill is too high, consider this:
 
Husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston
 
After almost twenty-four hours on the road, They're too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest.
 
They stop at a hotel and slept for four hours and then get back on the road.
 
When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.00.
 
The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high.
 
He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.00! When the clerk tells him $350.00 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.
 
The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use.
 
'But we didn't use them,' the man complains.
 
'Well, they are here, and you could have,' explains the manager.
 
He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous.
 
'The best entertainers from New York , Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here,' the manager says.
 
'But we didn't go to any of those shows,' complains the man again.
 
'Well, we have them, and you could have,' the manager replies.
 
No matter what amenity the manager mentions, the man replies, 'But we didn't use it!'
 
The manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the manager.
 
The manager is surprised when he looks at the check.
 
'But sir,' he says, this check is only made out for $50.00.'
 
'That's correct,' says the man. 'I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with my wife.'
 
'But I didn't!' exclaims the Manager.
 
'Well, too bad,' the man replies.  'She was here and you could have.'
Reply
#2
That is an oldie but goodie in the industry.  Here is one of my favorites.  There are about a dozen variations of it on the internet.


I am a Front Desk Clerk..

I have advanced degrees in accounting, public relations, marketing, business, computer sciences, civil engineering and Swahili.

Of course I have the reservation you made six years ago, even though you do not have a confirmation number and think it was under a name that starts with an "S."

It isn't a problem for me to get two connecting, non-smoking, pool side, downstairs outside suites (with two king size beds in each), four rollaways, and yes, I would be happy to install a wet bar in each room and stock them at no charge.  Of course it is my fault we don't have a helicopter-landing pad.

I am a front desk clerk - I am expected to speak all languages.  It is obvious to me that when you booked your room for Friday, that you really meant Saturday.  My computer has entrusted me with all our financial information and decisions.  Of course I remember that when you were here four years ago we accidentally charged you for a 72 cent long distance call you hadn't made and will make sure it doesn't happen again.

I understand that MacGillegetty's Widget Manufacturing Corp. is a vast empire that can make or break our hotel.  Yes I am lying when I tell you we have no more rooms available.  It's not a problem for me to quickly build two more so we can accommodate you and this time I will include a helipad.

I am a front desk clerk - I am quite capable of checking three people in, two people out, taking five reservations, answering twelve telephone calls and unplugging the toilet in 420, all at the same time.

I also know where the best vegetarian, kosher, Mongolian BBQ restaurants are.  I also know exactly what to see and do in this city in less than fifteen minutes and at no cost.

I take personal blame for airline delays, traffic jams, rental car flat tires and the national debt.  I should have realized that you meant to make your reservation here and not the "Galaxy Delight Motel" down the street and that you are entitled to the special five dollar discount because you're a member of the Accounting and Bagel Club of North America.  Yes I will be happy to cash your Japanese travelers checque for 10,000 yen into Canadian currency.  Even though it is Sunday morning, I am constantly aware of the exchange rate for all the world's currencies, after all, I am a front desk clerk.

We are expected to smile, empathize, sympathize, console, upsell, downsell, (and know the difference), perform, sing, dance and fix the computer (all at the same time).

I am a front desk, I can do all things(and look busy when the boss is nearby).





 
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)