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2 minute stand up routine
#1
I called BA to book my next flight.

The operator asked me "How many people are flying with you?"

I replied "I don't know! It’s your fecking plane!"



A Muslim was sitting next to me on my flight down this hitch.

I did my usual and ordered a whisky when I was asked if I’d like a drink.

The stewardess then asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.

He replied in disgust "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!"

So I handed my drink back and said

"Me too, I didn't know we had a choice!"



Mahk and Dick decided to swap partners for the night.

After 3 hours of amazing sex, Mahk says "I wonder how the girls are getting on".



Let me tell you about Mrs P and I on our wedding night.

She undresses, lies on the bed spread-eagled and says

"You know what I want, don't you?"

"Yeah," says I. "The whole fecking bed by the looks of it!"


I'm here all week ...... ehthinkque

Tongue
The 2 most important days of your life are: The day you were born & the day you find out why
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#2
LOL

The Scotsman is on a roll!
Fishing is much more than fish. It is the great occasion when we may return to the fine simplicity of our forefathers.
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#3
Wow... He makes gay comments in my direction but he is the one not only wearing a skirt but sending them out to other guys...

Tongue
--Mike

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#4
Mahk and Dick decided to swap partners for the night.

After 3 hours of amazing sex, Mahk says "I wonder how the girls are getting on".


How true..Tongue
They call me The Mum - Jimmie the Mum
Viva Mumcero - Mahk 12/4/2010 - http://www.stogiechat.com/forum/thread-20737.html
Honorary Shield Brother
Weak people seek Revenge, Strong people Forgive, Intelligent people Ignore
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#5
HAHAHA!!!!
Jonathan Charles Axisa, my beloved son, 11/7/1979 - 7/8/2010

Ғµ(Ķ Cancer
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#6
Haha. Awesome
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#7
Nice
"I do not save cigars for occasions that may not happen. Cigars make the occasion special, not the other way around."

Ryan
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#8
Awesome. I almost spit my beer all over my computer.
IF YOU AIN'T FIRST, YOU'RE LAST!!!!!!!
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#9
LMAONowthatsfunny
If Sonny had EZ-Pass, he'd have survived that hit...
Never apologize mister, it's a sign of weakness. - Capt. Nathan Cutting Brittles
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